Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
Len Cariou
Norm Archer
Ken Takemoto
Sensei
Steven Seagal
Cock Puncher
Larissa Laskin
Dana Dobbs
Don McManus
Dennis McCormick
Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton
Ahmed Ahmed
Ahmed
Brendan Fletcher
White Black Guy Tim
Daniel Dae Kim
Ivy Leaguer
Meredith Baxter
Cooking Show Chef
Jed Rees
Wizard Proteus
Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
Ahmed B. Badran
Peruvian
Scott Klace
Kip Kendall
Barbara Pilavin
Alzheimers Old Lady
Sandy Kenyon
Alzheimers Guy in Crowd
Orlando Seale
Producer
Brian Powell
Typical Neighbor Husband
Erik Stolhanske
Producer
Sarah McElligott
Melissa Cherry
Randy Oglesby
Surgeon General
Kwame Boateng
Dibo
Richard Fancy
Kenneth Garber
Alex Solowitz
The Masses
Savannah Haske
Rapist Lisa
Rebecca Lowman
Rape Victim Julie
Jim Gleason
Steel Beam Architect
Michael Harney
Line-Up Detective
Angel Cassidy
Porn Star
Gauge
Porn Star
Robert Hoffman
Lollipop Love Dancer
Joel McHale
Office Worker
Harry Shum Jr.
Lollipop Love Dancer
Kevin Federline
Lollipop Love Dancer
Bo Barrett
Wigger Jim
Chrissy Metz
Heavy Girl
Marshall Manesh
Announcer
Greg Cipes
Hippie Diplomant
Nick Chinlund
Bryce Brand
Jim Rash
Bryce's Manager
Paul Scheer
Bates Computer Salesman Dirk
John Viener
Peen Out Guy
Gedde Watanabe
James Nakatami
Chris Villa
Gay Guy
Michael Delaney
Gil Bates
Karen Miller
Cockpuncher Entourage
Tom Wright
Kwame Roberts
Tony Sagastizado I
Taliban Terrorist(uncredited)
Steven Kozlowski
White Trash Dude
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